Counselling Psychologist
Dr Lynne
Campbell-Gillies
Counselling Psychologist
Tel 27 31 764-4886
Cell 27 72-630-5332
Rooms at Kloof,
Kwazulu Natal,
South Africa
email me at
Dr
Campbell-Gillies is registered with the Health Professions Council of South
Africa (HPCSA) and the Board of Health Funders (BHF); Practice number Pr No:
086 000 0216623
Privacy undertaking:
All information furnished to me by email or in any other way will be treated
as private and confidential in accordance the rules of conduct set by the
Board for Psychology, HPCSA Act 56 of 1974. I will not permit anyone else to
use an email address you furnish to me for any purpose
Why Women Talk and
Men Walk :
How to improve your relationship without discussing it
By Patricia Love and Steven Stosny (Vermilion, 2007)
Here is a great book – one that I’ve
recommended to both my colleagues and clients! For those who just can’t
understand how their better halves think or behave and have done their best
to follow traditional advice of ‘improving communication skills’ without
success, here is a little gem.
In their introduction, Love and Stosny declare that “It’s not about
communication.’ “Rather,” they elaborate, “it’s about connection.” Or to be
more precise, why we ‘disconnect’ from our partners. In a chatty, yet
amusing, informative and extremely practical way the authors describe the
premise for disconnecting from our partners and how to remedy this. From a
man’s point of view, and from a woman’s point of view.
Yes, men and women are wired a bit differently. They describe how men and
women suffer different ‘invisible’ vulnerabilities in the form of ‘fear and
shame,’ and how this results in a lifetime of men and women trying to avoid
these feelings. It is our challenge to manage these differences – not avoid
them – that is the key to ensuring we have a truly meaningful and connected
relationship.
The first part of the book describes our differences, and why it has been so
hard for us to understand what makes our partners ‘tick.’ The second part
gives practical exercises for reconnecting with our partners; finding that
original spark again. I found the most valuable part to be the exercise on
understanding our core values. If we do this, we will transform our feelings
of fear and shame, and at the same time, we will become more compassionate
towards our partner’s feelings; we become ‘emotionally attuned’ to each
other once more.
Book Reviews
